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I Swore I Heard You Laughing

by Lizdelise

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1.
Shadow 02:58
Is it my job to hold you when you’re angry at the world Is it my job to see you even though you’ll only ever see me as a little girl Just some kid who should stay quiet You liked me a whole lot better when I didn’t have opinions How can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing old can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing… The moments of lucidity I witness in you sting Or Maybe I got it backwards it’s the shadow, not the real you, to which I cling Or Maybe there’s no separation there at all I Just to hate to think that this has been you all along How can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing old can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing How can it be possible that i’m no more than something growing old can it be possible that I'm no more than something growing Old How can it be I’m no more than something growing old I’m no more than something growing old How can it be I’m no more than something growing old How can it be
2.
Tornado 03:52
Tornado warning on 95 South I’d rather be turned to dust anyhow Something Softer than what I am now Something softer than what I am now Love shifting shapes I can’t tell up from down Each breath I take turns me more inside out Something Softer than what I am now Something Softer than what I am now Nothing more or less than what we have now Nothing more or less than what we have now I’m a jealous guy An eye for an eye That won’t work this time I know you can read my mind but I can’t read yours Tell me what you need it’ll never be too much for me baby Why can’t we have our cake and eat it too Why can’t I get some from them and from you Nothing more or less than what we have now Nothing more or less than what we have now Pulled out to sea to see but it’s my own damn fault Wanna be safe I just wanna be caught Let me linger on your chest Let me linger on your chest
3.
WMN 03:35
what would you say if I told you i'm not the woman that you think I am what would you say if I told you i'm not a woman at all am I late to my own party I swore I saw my future staring right back out at me cut a path right through the room I couldn't let her leave not without me not without me what would you say if I told you i'm not the woman that you think I am what would you say if I told you i'm not a woman at all i'm convinced there's just one answer that there's just one savior there's just one master key that I can use to open every door that's locked in front of me you can't leave i'll never let you leave not without me not without me not without me
4.
Scream Door 03:42
I gave myself away When I ran into the screen door Everybody at the party saw me Everybody might as well have yelled Look there’s somebody trying to be somebody else Somebody trying to be somebody else Why didn’t you wait for me Or at least tell me where you were going to When we’re together I don’t much care what anybody else thinks But I do sure do care about you Lately i’ve noticed when you have a few drinks is the Only time you let me get close to you Somebody trying to be somebody else Somebody trying to be Somebody trying to be somebody else Somebody trying to be When the summer’s in full bloom like this How’s anyone supposed to feel full There’s a carnival spreading out before you And Kids are screaming in the night You’re reaching back to grab the moment before it fades into the light
5.
Hide 03:26
Firework, why must I always assume the worst? White fragile like the first snow When I know, the little piggies have been out to play They want to make us stay inside But I’m the one, I’m the only one who gets to Hide, I hide Here I’ve been hiding so deep in my own shame I forgot i’m actually safe cradling my fear like a sick newborn baby cradling my fear like a sick newborn baby All this time, trying to speak truth with this silver spoon in my mouth It was there before I was born There before my parents were born And now it’s all mine to do with it what I will and still Here I’ve been hiding so deep in my own shame I forgot i’m actually safe cradling my fear like a sick newborn baby cradling my fear like a sick newborn baby You can’t hide You can’t hide You can’t hide You can’t hide
6.
Language 02:49
Alone inside my head I’m kicking down the door and throwing you onto our bed But when I’m awake I’m neutered I am terrified of what my body wants I don’t speak that language anymore I don’t speak that language anymore Somewhere in 2003 I’m running through the woods Well I must be dreaming cause there I am spilling over Spilling over Spilling over Spilling over
7.
Sleep Softly 03:25
How dare you barge in like this, midnight on a Tuesday There’s got to be a better place for you to be Than here in my way Everybody’s sick of me talking about your charms I can’t help it we were sixteen I can still feel you in my arms I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you The air in here is thin tonight, I swore I heard you laughing Why was it not me but you, i’m a sucker for even asking I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you I sleep soundly except for when I’m thinking of you I speak softly except for when I’m thinking of you

credits

released September 15, 2023

Produced by Andy Stack & Lizdelise
Mixed by Mark Watter
Engineered by Andy Stack
Additional Engineering by Saman Khoujinian & Mark Watter
Performed/Written by Lizdelise
Additional Programming by Andy Stack
Recorded at Betty’s in Chapel Hill, NC
Mastered by Sarah Register

Album cover design by Daniel Murphy
Album cover photo by Brooke Marsh

Special Thanks To:
Kyle Pulley, Joe Reinhart, Headroom Studios, Scoops Dardaris, Matt Poirier, Gretchen Klein, Nick Sanborn, Amelia Meath, Jenn Wasner, Dominic Angelella, Joe Michelini, Dashiell Flach, Jaclyn O'Connell, Talia Miller, The Loving and Supportive Delise/Heston/Marino/Resh/Watter families

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